Babies

Apparently there was some party here at work during the lunch hour for a guy from the IT department who had a baby. I was on vacation when it went on but I found a flier announcing this mini party in the lunchroom. On it said:

Come celebrate Bill's new son!
CONNOR (middle name) (last name)
6 LBS
2 1/2 OZS
18 1/2 INCHES

And then I realized that for some reason, the baby's weight and height (length?) are always required conversation material when discussing a newborn baby. Maybe it's just women who talk about that stuff. Does anyone really care if a baby weights 6 lbs 2.5 ounces versus 6 lbs. 8 ounces?

I guess it's an indicator as to whether a baby is healthy or not, but that's kinda mean cause what if the baby doesn't weigh a lot? Then when Soccer Mom B asks how much Soccer Mom A's newborn weights, SMOMA has to feel shame when she admits her babe weighs a paltry 5 lbs 5 ozs, and SMOMB invariable has a disappointed/consoling look on her face when she says 'Ohhh...'

They jumped on the bandwagon when they picked Connor as a name. Connor's one of those good names that got sorta played out or is on the verge of getting played out. Currently, Irish names are the craze and I'm not talking about Sean or Patrick. I read a whole bunch Irish newcomers like Flaherty that are next to hit. Apparently the rich start the trend, then it creeps down to the middle and lower classes after 10 years or so, and eventually the poorest of the poor purposefully (or sometimes not) mispell the name to make a new one (i.e. Micheal).

Is there no hope for new creative names? Black people have already trademarked all cool Persian names like Cyrus, Darius, etc. Bastards. I'm just gonna name kids after pagan gods and be done with it.