A moment to stereotype

I've been thinking about politics lately and various political groups, and how there are pretty much two sides that stick together like rabid wolves. They will back up their respective side no matter what usually, and I find it odd because the interests of the group are usually so diverse. So I'm going to take a moment to make some stereotypes, becauses judging people is cool. I'll start with conservatives because they have the biggest ideology gaps.

The Redneck: These are the guys who still think/talk about the civil war. The most important thing to them is having guns. I don't believe they're particularly religious, nor are they really moral (note the 70% of country songs are about your cheating heart. The other 30%? Flat-bed pick up trucks of course). Characterized by low intelligence, low income, and the aforementioned gun zeal, this group votes against their economic self-interest by voting republican.

The Self-Serving Businessman: This is the corporate guy, who was socially liberal in college (and probably still is) but years of work life have dulled his sense of social responsibility and focused his politics on one issue: taxes. Conservatives typically slash taxes so the businessman is happy. He often dominates his wife and kids to have the same view. The hero of the conservative businessman is vice president Darth Cheney, seen to the right.


The Religious Right: Religious fanatics that have a stranglehold on the south, and probably the midwest which is basically the same thing. Being right is more important to this group than anything. If you don't agree with them, then you are wrong and will burn in a magical place for bad people. One of their prime activities is ostracizing others and creating conflict and hate. So what does a group that purports to follow a 1st century peaceful bearded middle eastern man have in common with Republican ideology? Only one issue really: anti-abortion. The "right to life" is the single issue the two groups have in common. You would figure that caring for the poor would be a stronger issue and thus they would side with Democrats (as they did up until the 1950s), but the religious right has somehow taken over the Republican party.

Seeing these three groups, it is no wonder that W. is president. He is a blue-blood born into a rich New England oil family, moved to Texas at a young age and became an ignorant redneck, and became 'born again' and obsessed with religion sometime after several drunk driving accidents and arrests for cocaine use. He is part hick, part fanatic, and part evil businessman. He is the ultimate conservative.

Coming soon, I'll do a similar write up on the various liberal groups, but it probably won't be as interesting.